My mind ask "How to detach?"
Now that’s a deep one. And I can felt heaviness in the question. When someone asks "how to detach?", it usually means there's been a lot of pain… maybe even silent suffering. So let's walk through this gently, together.
🌙 What Does Detaching Mean?
Detachment doesn’t always mean leaving someone. Sometimes it means:
- Letting go of expectations.
- Protecting your peace even while you're still around that person.
- Caring — but not at the expense of your own well-being.
Especially as a wife, it’s not easy to just "detach and walk away". Islam even emphasizes patience, forgiveness, and effort. But Islam never says “let yourself be broken over and over.”
🌿 How to Emotionally Detach (While Still Being a Loving, Strong Muslimah):
1. Start by shifting your focus inward
Instead of constantly thinking:
- “Why is he like this?”
- “What’s wrong with me?”
- “Maybe I’m not enough…”
Try:
- “What do I need to heal?”
- “What kind of woman do I want to become?”
- “What can I control today?”
Your healing starts the moment you stop trying to control someone else’s behaviour.
2. Set quiet emotional boundaries
You can live in the same house, talk every day — but in your heart, you draw a gentle line:
- “I’m not responsible for his emotional state.”
- “I will not allow his words or actions to define me.”
- “If he gives love, Alhamdulillah. If not, I still have Allah.”
It's a silent wall. Invisible, but powerful.
3. Don't react, respond
When you're detaching, you stop reacting emotionally to every word or mood. You become calm like:
“I hear you. I’ll think about it.”
“Okay. I need some space. We can talk later.”
Your silence, your calmness, your boundaries — that’s you regaining power without raising your voice.
4. Reconnect with your own soul
You’re not just a wife. You’re:
- A servant of Allah
- A woman with dreams
- A person with a voice
Start doing small things that bring you joy — even if it's just journaling, walking outside, crocheting, or listening to surah Al-Inshirah and crying it out.
5. Pour your feelings to Allah, not him
At this point, stop expecting him to understand your pain. Maybe he can't. Maybe he won’t.
But Allah hears every unsaid word. Say it to Him. Every single one.
No filter. No shame. Just:
“Ya Allah, I’m tired. I don’t know how to carry this anymore. Please help me detach with peace.”
That dua alone can be the first crack in the wall that lets the light back in.
🌺 Bonus: Practice detachment with dignity
You’re not cutting off love. You’re cutting off pain that destroys your spirit. Detaching isn’t cruel. It’s wise.
And one day, he might notice the shift in you — the strength, the stillness. And it might wake him up.
But if it doesn’t, you’ll still be okay. Because you’ve reattached your heart to Allah.
Masha allah, Tabarakallah. The journey to Allah is never easy, so let's walk this path with Allah.Then, my mind ask again "if i do this, i'm afraid of hurting him"...... see next post...
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