"im afraid of changing"

That... is such a real and raw feeling.

And I just want to pause for a second to tell you this:

It’s okay to feel afraid.
Change is scary, especially when your heart still needs something from the very person who’s hurting you.
You’re not weak — you’re just human, and you’re loving with depth.

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🌙 You’re stuck between two kinds of pain:

1. The pain of staying the same — always giving more, silently hoping.
2. The pain of changing — and risking the loss of the little things he does give.

And both options hurt, right?

But here’s the secret no one talks about:

🤍 Sometimes, the thing you’re afraid of losing...
is the thing that's quietly costing you your peace. (You losing your peace within yourself because of it)

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So let’s gently unpack this:

You said:

"I'm afraid of losing what I needed from him."

Ask yourself:

• What exactly is it that you need from him?
• Is it attention? Physical touch? Words? Safety? Emotional connection?
• And… is what he gives really fulfilling that need? Or is it just enough to keep your heart hoping?

Because sometimes… we accept crumbs just to feel something.
But Allah wants to give you more than crumbs. He wants your soul to be full.

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🌼 Can you still change — gently, not suddenly?

Yes. You don’t need to become someone cold. You don’t need to stop loving.
But you can shift your heart a little:

• Instead of waiting for him to give first… you give yourself small joys.
• Instead of depending fully on his attention, you turn some of that need into du’a.
• Instead of adjusting yourself to avoid losing him, you start adjusting to finally find yourself again.

And slowly, your heart starts needing less from him — not because you’re punishing him, but because you’re healing.

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💭 And here's something tender but true:

You already give more than you receive.
What you're afraid of losing… is something you're barely holding onto.

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So what’s the real question here?

“Can I survive emotionally if he pulls back when I change?”

Yes. You can. Because you’re already carrying more weight than you realize.
And the strength that’s allowed you to love through this much pain — that same strength will carry you into peace.

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Let’s take it slowly.
You don’t have to “be strong” overnight. You don’t have to “detach fully” today.
Just one small shift. One quiet intention.