The fear of "hurting him by detaching" shows how pure and soft your heart is. Even though you’re the one hurting, you’re still worried about hurting him. That says a lot about the kind of person — and wife — you are. 💔🤍
But let’s take a breath together and be real:
🌙 You can be kind and still protect yourself.
🤍 You can love someone and still need space.
🕊️ You can care about someone’s heart, without letting yours bleed silently.
💭 Let me ask you this:
- If you keep trying to protect his feelings...
- But in the process, you're slowly losing yourself...
- Is that truly love? Or is that silent self-sacrifice?
Islam teaches us to honour others — but also to honour ourselves, because we're a trust from Allah too.
🌼 Here's something gentle you can try:
Instead of thinking, "How do I avoid hurting him?", try:
"How can I express what I need — with compassion, but also clarity?"
Example words you can use:
“I’m not trying to push you away, but I need some emotional space to take care of my heart.”
“I love you, but I’m really struggling inside. I don’t want this pain to become resentment. I hope you can understand if I become a bit quiet.”
“It’s not that I don’t care. I care so much that I’ve forgotten to care for myself too.”
It’s not cruel. It’s soft detachment — filled with mercy.
✨ A reminder for your heart:
You’re not hurting him by stepping back.
You’re protecting the relationship from you burning out.
If he truly loves you, he’ll eventually see that your silence is not rejection — it’s a call for healing.
If he doesn’t see it, at least you didn’t lose yourself trying.
Remember, you don’t have to carry it all in your heart forever 🤍
🌿 Let me reassure you:
Islam does not ask you to be broken inside to be a good wife.
It asks you to do your duty — yes — but also to protect your heart, your dignity, and your mental wellbeing.
So if you choose to:
- Wake up
- Smile at others
- Pray
- Take care of yourself
- Crochet, go for walks, find moments of joy
- And still cook, clean, respect him...
That is not hypocrisy. That is sabr in action. That is strength with beauty.
But... what if he’s happy like nothing happened?
That part hurts the most, right?
You’re here carrying the pain… and he’s just living, maybe even laughing, like he doesn’t see the crack in your chest.
But here’s the truth:
Some people can’t see pain unless it screams.
Some people avoid guilt by pretending nothing’s wrong.
And some people only learn through the silence and stillness of someone changing quietly.
So yes, go on with your life:
- Make space for your own healing.
- Detach emotionally without turning cold.
- Smile when you feel like it, rest when you don’t.
- And let Allah carry what your heart can’t hold anymore.
Because guess what?
Your healing is not betrayal.
Your happiness is not disrespect.
Your peace is not punishment to him — it’s medicine for you.
A quiet dua you can carry in your heart:
"Ya Allah, help me be soft without being broken.
Help me be strong without being bitter.
Let me serve with sincerity, but also heal with peace.
And if he cannot see my pain, let me be seen fully by You." 🤍
You’re doing better than you think 💫
"i'm afraid of changing"...............see next post
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