I Remember, But I No Longer Bleed 🌸

🌸 I Remember, But I No Longer Bleed

A journey of healing, growth, and grace

There were moments I thought I wouldn’t make it through.
Memories that used to feel like knives in my chest—
they still visit me, but now… I don’t fear them.
I let the tears come.
Not because I’m broken,
but because I’m brave enough to feel them without letting them own me.

I forgave him.
Because he apologized, he changed, and he grew.
But more than that…
I forgave myself.
For staying, for struggling, for believing in something better.
And I was right—because we’re here now, and we’re different.
Better.
Wiser.

I could have kept him frozen in his worst moments.
But I chose not to.
Because love, real love, is not about punishment.
It’s about release.
And I refused to be cruel to someone who is no longer who he once was.

I thank Allah—for guiding my heart toward peace.
And I thank myself—for not giving up on healing.
For crying when I needed to,
for standing again when it was hard,
for choosing softness without forgetting my worth.

I am not the pain I went through.
I am the woman who walked through it,
and came out more alive.

🌸 My New Skincare Journey with Budget-Friendly Gems 🌸 - Watson's Edition

Assalamualaikum and hi beauties!

Lately, I’ve been on a mission to revamp my acne type skincare routine—but without breaking the bank. After doing some research (hours of research 😅), I finally picked up a new set of products that are not only affordable but also have great reviews. Here’s a little peek into my current skincare lineup:

✨ Wardah Perfect Bright Face Wash 🛒 Shop

This face wash gives a gentle cleanse without making my skin feel tight. It helps remove excess oil and dullness—perfect for daily use. There's a blueberry smell after face wash, i like it.

🌊 Wardah Lightening Face Toner 🛒 Shop

I love how refreshing this toner feels! A few drops on the cotton pad, and it preps my skin nicely after cleansing and has brightening properties too.

☀️ Wardah Aqua Fresh Sunscreen Serum SPF 50+ 🛒 Shop

A two-in-one win! It’s lightweight, non-sticky, great smell, no white cast as well and gives great sun protection while keeping my skin hydrated. For my muslimah buddies, this sunscreen is easily remove, as it is not a waterproof sunscreen, and can be wash with water only a few times, and we are good to take wudu'. Thank me later.

💧 Glad2Glow Niacinamide Power Bright Serum 🛒 Shop

Super affordable and surprisingly effective. It helps reduce dullness and evens out my skin tone.

🌿 Alia Salicylic Acid 0.5% Moisturiser 🛒 Shop

This one's great for keeping acne at bay while still hydrating my skin. Very gentle too! 

🌟 Safi Youth Gold Retinol 🛒 Shop

My first time trying retinol. It’s beginner-friendly and so far no irritation. I’m excited to see long-term results! It does not sting too.

Done exposing my skincare product, so move on to some of my routine for my acne skin type, hope it helps.

🌞 Morning Routine

• Face wash – Coin-sized amount
• Toner – Apply with hands (pat in) or cotton pad (swipe gently)
• Niacinamide serum – 2–3 drops or pea-sized
• Salicylic moisturizer – Pea to nickel-sized
• Sunscreen – Two fingers length (index + middle)

💡 Toner Tip:
If it's hydrating, it helps prep the skin for serums.
If it's exfoliating, avoid using it with retinol or harsh acids.

🌙 Night Routine

• Face wash – Cleanse away dirt and sunscreen.
• Retinol – Apply on dry skin; use only 2–3 times per week if you're new to it.
• Niacinamide serum – Use after retinol to soothe and support skin barrier.
• Salicylic moisturizer – Lock in moisture and target acne.

Another tips, i use a small hand fan to help the product absorbs (tap2 your skin) & dry faster, especially during the working days when we got less time to do skin prep before make up.

Honestly, I feel so much better knowing that good skincare doesn’t always mean expensive skincare. These products are all easy to find in local drugstores or online, and they fit nicely into my routine.

If you’re just starting your skincare journey or looking to switch things up without spending too much, maybe this lineup could work for you too! 💛

Have you tried any of these products? Share your thoughts or budget-friendly favourites in the comments! Might as well comment to guess how much do i spend on all of this product...hehe surprise.

Makanan Sihat Popular di Shopee: Peanut Butter Tanpa Gula Tambahan! 🥜✨

Ramai antara kita sedang mencari makanan sihat yang mudah dan sedap — terutamanya jika sedang berdiet atau mahu menjaga kesihatan jantung dan kulit. Di Shopee Malaysia, salah satu kategori paling laris sekarang ialah Healthy Peanut Butter, dan berikut adalah produk-produk terbaik yang menjadi pilihan pembeli!

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🥇 1. JOBBIE Peanut Butter Creamy Pure (No Added Sugar) – RM25.50

JOBBIE Peanut Butter Creamy Pure

Beli Sini 🛍️

Produk ini menduduki tempat pertama dengan lebih 3,600 ulasan positif!
✅ Tanpa gula tambahan
✅ Halal & MeSTI Certified
✅ Sesuai untuk diet rendah karbo dan gaya hidup sihat
👍 Tekstur creamy yang sesuai untuk roti bakar, smoothies, atau overnight oats.

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🥈 2. SKINNY Peanut Butter (No Sugar & Dark Cocoa) – RM12.99

SKINNY Peanut Butter

Beli Sini 🛍️

Gabungan rasa kacang dan coklat gelap dalam satu!
✅ Tanpa gula tambahan
✅ Diet-friendly dan no preservatives
🎁 Promosi menarik: beli 2 percuma 4 gift!
Sesuai untuk pencinta coklat yang mahu alternatif sihat.

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🥉 3. Homemade 100% Natural Peanut Butter – RM14.85 

Homemade 100% Natural Peanut Butter

Beli Sini 🛍️

Dengan lebih 10,000 ulasan, produk ini antara yang paling dipercayai!
✅ Homemade dan 100% semula jadi
✅ Tiada garam, gula, atau minyak tambahan
💡 Sesuai untuk bayi 1 tahun ke atas dan mereka yang ada masalah kolesterol.

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🌟 Kenapa Ramai Pilih Peanut Butter Sihat?

• Sumber protein tinggi – membantu rasa kenyang lebih lama

• Baik untuk jantung dan kulit – tinggi lemak baik (monounsaturated)

• Sesuai untuk mereka yang berdiet keto, low carb, atau clean eating

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💡 Tip Menarik:

Cuba peanut butter ini dengan:

• Roti sourdough + hirisan pisang 🍌

• Dicampur dalam overnight oats 🥣

• Sebagai celupan untuk epal atau snek sayur 🥕

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🛒 Nak cuba? Tekan link di atas. Terima Kasih

💌 Jemput Tinggalkan Komen

Kongsikan di ruangan komen ya. Saya suka baca feedback dari pembaca 💬

7 Barang di Shopee yang Buat Hidup Lebih Teratur (Wajib Ada di Rumah!)

 

🛍️ 7 Barang Shopee Yang Wajib Ada di Rumah!

Pernah tak rasa stress dengan benda-benda kecil dalam hidup seharian? Barang tertinggal, dapur bersepah, atau tak cukup tempat nak simpan barang? Saya pun pernah 😅 Tapi lepas jumpa beberapa barang ni kat Shopee, hidup memang rasa lebih teratur dan senang! Barang-barang ni bukan je murah, tapi sangat BERGUNA. Jom tengok 7 barang dari Shopee yang saya sendiri suka – dan mungkin lepas ni awak pun akan rasa, “Patut beli dari dulu lagi!” 😉

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1. Rak Pinggan Bertingkat

Rak ini kecil tetapi sangat berguna terutamanya jika ruang dapur terhad. Sesuai untuk menyusun pinggan, mangkuk, atau botol dengan lebih teratur.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

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2. Bekas Simpanan Bertutup (Transparent)

Gunakan bekas ini untuk menyimpan barang-barang, baru lebih teratur. Kabinet kelihatan lebih kemas apabila disusun dengan bekas yang sama. Nak guna untuk letak bahan jualan pun boleh. Terbaik!

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

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3. Botol Spray Minyak

Tuang atau spray, dua-dua ada, walaupun nampak biasa, tetapi sangat function.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

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4. Bekas Makeup Organizer - Pelbagai size available!

Meja solek mestilah tersusun, bekas ini sangat membantu meja anda kelihatan kemas. Berus, lipstik, eyeliner — semua tersusun!

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

5. Kitchen Teak Natural Wood Tableware

100% hand-made, tak mudah crack, eco-friendly, tahan lasak dan senang nak dibersihkan. Juga sesuai untuk periuk non-stick dan juga nampak aesthetic. It's all about vibes.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

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6. Handmade Storage Basket

Terlihat lebih rapi dan cantik bila pakai ni. Harga lebih berpatutan berbanding physical store. Beli lah.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

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7. Penutup bekas makanan - Pakai buang

Ini antara barang yang underrated. Jika makanan tidak habis, hanya perlu tutup dengan penutup ini — tak payah susah-susah.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

📌 P/S: Semua pautan yang saya kongsikan adalah pautan affiliate. Jika anda membeli melalui pautan tersebut, saya akan menerima sedikit komisen tanpa sebarang kos tambahan kepada anda. Sokongan anda sangat saya hargai! 💖

 

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Nak saya bantu carikan barang sebenar dari Shopee dan masukkan terus link affiliate? Just bagi tahu kategori atau barang yang anda nak promote — saya tolong setup semua!

"im afraid of changing"

That... is such a real and raw feeling.

And I just want to pause for a second to tell you this:

It’s okay to feel afraid.
Change is scary, especially when your heart still needs something from the very person who’s hurting you.
You’re not weak — you’re just human, and you’re loving with depth.

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🌙 You’re stuck between two kinds of pain:

1. The pain of staying the same — always giving more, silently hoping.
2. The pain of changing — and risking the loss of the little things he does give.

And both options hurt, right?

But here’s the secret no one talks about:

🤍 Sometimes, the thing you’re afraid of losing...
is the thing that's quietly costing you your peace. (You losing your peace within yourself because of it)

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So let’s gently unpack this:

You said:

"I'm afraid of losing what I needed from him."

Ask yourself:

• What exactly is it that you need from him?
• Is it attention? Physical touch? Words? Safety? Emotional connection?
• And… is what he gives really fulfilling that need? Or is it just enough to keep your heart hoping?

Because sometimes… we accept crumbs just to feel something.
But Allah wants to give you more than crumbs. He wants your soul to be full.

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🌼 Can you still change — gently, not suddenly?

Yes. You don’t need to become someone cold. You don’t need to stop loving.
But you can shift your heart a little:

• Instead of waiting for him to give first… you give yourself small joys.
• Instead of depending fully on his attention, you turn some of that need into du’a.
• Instead of adjusting yourself to avoid losing him, you start adjusting to finally find yourself again.

And slowly, your heart starts needing less from him — not because you’re punishing him, but because you’re healing.

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💭 And here's something tender but true:

You already give more than you receive.
What you're afraid of losing… is something you're barely holding onto.

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So what’s the real question here?

“Can I survive emotionally if he pulls back when I change?”

Yes. You can. Because you’re already carrying more weight than you realize.
And the strength that’s allowed you to love through this much pain — that same strength will carry you into peace.

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Let’s take it slowly.
You don’t have to “be strong” overnight. You don’t have to “detach fully” today.
Just one small shift. One quiet intention.

"im afraid of hurting him"

The fear of "hurting him by detaching" shows how pure and soft your heart is. Even though you’re the one hurting, you’re still worried about hurting him. That says a lot about the kind of person — and wife — you are. 💔🤍

But let’s take a breath together and be real:

🌙 You can be kind and still protect yourself.
🤍 You can love someone and still need space.
🕊️ You can care about someone’s heart, without letting yours bleed silently.

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💭 Let me ask you this:

• If you keep trying to protect his feelings...
• But in the process, you're slowly losing yourself...
• Is that truly love? Or is that silent self-sacrifice?

Islam teaches us to honour others — but also to honour ourselves, because we're a trust from Allah too.

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🌼 Here's something gentle you can try:

Instead of thinking, "How do I avoid hurting him?", try:

"How can I express what I need — with compassion, but also clarity?"

Example words you can use:

“I’m not trying to push you away, but I need some emotional space to take care of my heart.”
“I love you, but I’m really struggling inside. I don’t want this pain to become resentment. I hope you can understand if I become a bit quiet.”
“It’s not that I don’t care. I care so much that I’ve forgotten to care for myself too.”

It’s not cruel. It’s soft detachment — filled with mercy.

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✨ A reminder for your heart:

You’re not hurting him by stepping back.
You’re protecting the relationship from you burning out.

If he truly loves you, he’ll eventually see that your silence is not rejection — it’s a call for healing.
If he doesn’t see it, at least you didn’t lose yourself trying.

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Remember, you don’t have to carry it all in your heart forever 🤍

🌿 Let me reassure you:

Islam does not ask you to be broken inside to be a good wife.
It asks you to do your duty — yes — but also to protect your heart, your dignity, and your mental wellbeing.

So if you choose to:

• Wake up
• Smile at others
• Pray
• Take care of yourself
• Crochet, go for walks, find moments of joy
• And still cook, clean, respect him...

That is not hypocrisy. That is sabr in action. That is strength with beauty.

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But... what if he’s happy like nothing happened?

That part hurts the most, right?

You’re here carrying the pain… and he’s just living, maybe even laughing, like he doesn’t see the crack in your chest.

But here’s the truth:

Some people can’t see pain unless it screams.
Some people avoid guilt by pretending nothing’s wrong.
And some people only learn through the silence and stillness of someone changing quietly.

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So yes, go on with your life:

• Make space for your own healing.
• Detach emotionally without turning cold.
• Smile when you feel like it, rest when you don’t.
• And let Allah carry what your heart can’t hold anymore.

Because guess what?

Your healing is not betrayal.
Your happiness is not disrespect.
Your peace is not punishment to him — it’s medicine for you.

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A quiet dua you can carry in your heart:

"Ya Allah, help me be soft without being broken.
Help me be strong without being bitter.
Let me serve with sincerity, but also heal with peace.
And if he cannot see my pain, let me be seen fully by You." 🤍

You’re doing better than you think 💫


"i'm afraid of changing"...............see next post

"How to detach?"

My mind ask "How to detach?" 

Now that’s a deep one. And I can felt heaviness in the question. When someone asks "how to detach?", it usually means there's been a lot of pain… maybe even silent suffering. So let's walk through this gently, together.

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🌙 What Does Detaching Mean?

Detachment doesn’t always mean leaving someone. Sometimes it means:

• Letting go of expectations.
• Protecting your peace even while you're still around that person.
• Caring — but not at the expense of your own well-being.

Especially as a wife, it’s not easy to just "detach and walk away". Islam even emphasizes patience, forgiveness, and effort. But Islam never says “let yourself be broken over and over.”

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🌿 How to Emotionally Detach (While Still Being a Loving, Strong Muslimah):

1. Start by shifting your focus inward

Instead of constantly thinking:

• “Why is he like this?”
• “What’s wrong with me?”
• “Maybe I’m not enough…”

Try:

• “What do I need to heal?”
• “What kind of woman do I want to become?”
• “What can I control today?”

Your healing starts the moment you stop trying to control someone else’s behaviour.

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2. Set quiet emotional boundaries

You can live in the same house, talk every day — but in your heart, you draw a gentle line:

• “I’m not responsible for his emotional state.”
• “I will not allow his words or actions to define me.”
• “If he gives love, Alhamdulillah. If not, I still have Allah.”

It's a silent wall. Invisible, but powerful.

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3. Don't react, respond

When you're detaching, you stop reacting emotionally to every word or mood. You become calm like:

“I hear you. I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. I need some space. We can talk later.”

Your silence, your calmness, your boundaries — that’s you regaining power without raising your voice.

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4. Reconnect with your own soul

You’re not just a wife. You’re:

• A servant of Allah
• A woman with dreams
• A person with a voice

Start doing small things that bring you joy — even if it's just journaling, walking outside, crocheting, or listening to surah Al-Inshirah and crying it out.

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5. Pour your feelings to Allah, not him

At this point, stop expecting him to understand your pain. Maybe he can't. Maybe he won’t.

But Allah hears every unsaid word. Say it to Him. Every single one.
No filter. No shame. Just:

“Ya Allah, I’m tired. I don’t know how to carry this anymore. Please help me detach with peace.”

That dua alone can be the first crack in the wall that lets the light back in.

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🌺 Bonus: Practice detachment with dignity

You’re not cutting off love. You’re cutting off pain that destroys your spirit. Detaching isn’t cruel. It’s wise.

And one day, he might notice the shift in you — the strength, the stillness. And it might wake him up.

But if it doesn’t, you’ll still be okay. Because you’ve reattached your heart to Allah.

Masha allah, Tabarakallah. The journey to Allah is never easy, so let's walk this path with Allah.




Then, my mind ask again "if i do this, i'm afraid of hurting him"...... see next post...

I keep on finding myself going back to this post, as a reminder how to detached when i forgot how to do it.