🌸 Free Crochet Pattern: Leaf Flower Panel with Diagram (Made by Me!)

Assalamualaikum and hello crochet lovers! 

Today I’m super excited to share something very close to my heart — a crochet panel that I not only crocheted myself but also created the diagram for from scratch! This project features a beautiful leaf flower motif in the center, framed by rows of classic stitches to give it a neat, rectangular panel look. It's perfect for table runners, prayer mats, or even as a repeating motif in larger projects like blankets or shawls.

✿ The Design

Here's the diagram:

✿ (Image shown above — my own diagram made from scratch to make sure it match what i crochet....)

The pattern starts with a foundation chain of 50 chains and works upward row by row. The highlight of the panel is definitely the flower with leaf-shaped petals in the center, created with a combination of chains, double crochets, and puff stitches for texture.

I used white cotton yarn for a clean and classic look — but feel free to use soft pastels or earth tones for a different vibe.

✿ Materials Used

• Hook size: 2.0 mm
• Yarn type & size: Cotton, Size 1.0 (fine/thin cotton yarn)

✿ Important heads up before start crochetting: 

1. Start with 50ch
2. Start your dc at 2nd Ch from the hook (its serve as the border)

Make sure to follow the color.

~ after that you are ready to full speed crocheting 😆

💬 I’d Love Your Feedback!

If you try this pattern, do tag me or leave a comment below — I'd love to see your creations and hear what you think! You’re free to use the diagram for personal use or even share with friends, but please credit me if you post it anywhere. 

Thank you for supporting handmade work and self-made designs like mine 💖

Selamat mencuba dan selamat mengait! 

Muslimah Checklist Template

💌 Jemput Tinggalkan Komen

Kongsikan di ruangan komen ya. Saya suka baca feedback dari pembaca 💬

When You Shrink for Love

You shrink when you feel disconnected from the person you long to be close to.

The only way to stop shrinking is to first acknowledge that the connection simply isn’t available right now. And when that happens, the best thing you can do is to turn off your own connection device.

Turning it off doesn’t mean cutting yourself off completely — it means giving yourself a chance to pause. To rebuild, to rest, to do what brings you peace.

Because when your connection is constantly “on,” you become restless. And it’s okay — even necessary — to disconnect for a while.

Going “off” takes a little bit of courage. But when you do, and you're finally ready to reconnect, it’ll feel more genuine. You’ll enjoy it more — without the emotional exhaustion of forcing it.

You deserve connections that flow freely, not ones that make you chase or shrink.
Sometimes, choosing to rest is the strongest way to love — both yourself and them.

Live for Allah, not for your husband. But indeed Redha from your husband means Redha from Allah SWT. So, don't go beyond that, because your husband is one of your way to Allah's Redha. Your husband is from Allah and to Allah we give him back, you don't own him, and you don't belong to him.

Ingest Journal

Day	Time	Food / Drink	Water Intake
Monday	Breakfast
	Lunch
	Dinner
	Snack
Tuesday	Breakfast
	Lunch
	Dinner
	Snack
Wednesday	Breakfast
	Lunch
	Dinner
	Snack
Thursday	Breakfast
	Lunch
	Dinner
	Snack
Friday	Breakfast
	Lunch
	Dinner
	Snack
Saturday	Breakfast
	Lunch
	Dinner
	Snack
Sunday	Breakfast
	Lunch
	Dinner
	Snack

Fitrah Tauhid: Asal Usul Jiwa yang Mengenal Allah

Setiap manusia lahir dalam keadaan suci. Jiwa mereka kosong dari dosa, tapi penuh dengan satu naluri semula jadi: mengenal Tuhan yang satu — Allah. Naluri inilah yang dipanggil sebagai fitrah tauhid.

🌿 Apa Itu Fitrah?

Fitrah ialah asal kejadian semula jadi manusia — ia bukan sesuatu yang diajar, tetapi dibekalkan oleh Allah sejak dalam kandungan ibu.

“Setiap anak dilahirkan atas fitrah (Islam), maka kedua ibu bapanya yang menjadikan dia Yahudi, Nasrani atau Majusi.”
— Hadis Riwayat Bukhari & Muslim

Semua manusia — tidak kira bangsa atau negara — dilahirkan dengan kepercayaan semula jadi bahawa Tuhan itu wujud, dan Tuhan itu satu.

🌙 Apa Itu Fitrah Tauhid?

Fitrah tauhid ialah bahagian dari fitrah manusia yang secara semula jadi:

• Mengakui bahawa Allah itu Esa.
• Tahu bahawa semua yang ada di dunia ini ada Penciptanya.
• Mempunyai rasa bergantung, takut, harap dan rindu kepada Allah.

Fitrah ini adalah pencarian kepada kebenaran, dan bila ia disokong dengan ilmu dan iman, hati akan menjadi tenang dan yakin.

🔍 Contoh Fitrah Tauhid Dalam Kehidupan Harian

• Doa spontan bila terdesak: Orang yang tak solat pun, bila terdesak, akan berkata “Ya Allah, tolong aku!”
• Kanak-kanak takut buat salah: Walaupun belum diajar, mereka tahu perbuatan salah tu salah.
• Hati tersentuh bila dengar zikir: Walaupun jauh dari agama, jiwa tetap rasa tenang bila dengar alunan Al-Quran.

💔 Bila Fitrah Diselaputi...

Fitrah tauhid boleh menjadi kabur bila:

• Dikelilingi maksiat atau ajaran salah
• Dibesarkan tanpa didikan iman
• Ikut nafsu, dunia atau syaitan

Namun fitrah tak mati. Ia cuma tidur. Bila Allah izinkan, ia boleh terjaga semula. ❤️

✨ Kembali Kepada Fitrah

“Maka hadapkanlah wajahmu dengan lurus kepada agama Allah; (tetaplah atas) fitrah Allah yang telah menciptakan manusia menurut fitrah itu. Tidak ada perubahan pada ciptaan Allah.”
— Surah Ar-Rum 30:30

Kembali kepada fitrah bermula dengan:

• Mencari ilmu & mengenal Allah
• Merenung ciptaan-Nya
• Berzikir dan berdoa dengan hati yang jujur
• Jujur dengan diri sendiri: Siapa aku? Dari mana aku datang? Ke mana aku akan pergi?

🌸 Penutup

Fitrah tauhid ialah bukti bahawa kita semua pernah mengenal Allah. Bila hati kembali mencari-Nya, fitrah akan membawa kita kepada hidayah.

“Sesungguhnya dalam hati manusia ada kekosongan yang tidak akan diisi kecuali dengan mengenal Allah.”
— Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Semoga kita semua terus disinari cahaya fitrah dan tidak jauh dari Tuhan yang menciptakan kita. 🤍

📲 Kongsi Artikel Ini:

🏠 Top 3 Must-Have Home Appliances for Every Household

Keeping your home running smoothly starts with having the right tools. Whether you're a newlywed setting up your space or upgrading your existing home, these 3 essential appliances will make daily life easier, cleaner, and more comfortable.

---

1. Mini Washing Machine Portable and Foldable

• ✅ Its mini, not heavy
• ✅ Foldable and Portable
• ✅ Suitable for student

👉 Buy Now

---

2. Steam Iron

• ✅ Auto Shut-Off
• ✅ Carry Lock
• ✅ Self-Cleaning
• ✅ Detachable Water Tank
• ✅ Perfect for busy lifestyles

👉 Grab Yours Today

---

3. Garment Steamer

• ✅ Steamer Iron with Flat Pole and Iron Board
• ✅ Water Tank Capacity: 1.8 litre
• ✅ 11 Steaming and Ironing mode
• ✅ 2 years warranty

👉 Make Ironing easier

---

💡 Final Tip:

Investing in the right home appliances can save time, reduce stress, and make your home a sanctuary of comfort and efficiency. Don’t wait—upgrade today!

💌 Jemput Tinggalkan Komen

Kongsikan di ruangan komen ya. Saya suka baca feedback dari pembaca 💬

Selawat Miftahur Rahmah (Pembuka Rahmat)

MasyaAllah, doa selawat yang sangat indah dan penuh makna.

Selawat ini dikenali sebagai Selawat Miftahur Rahmah (Pembuka Rahmat). Ia membawa maksud yang mendalam tentang kecintaan kepada Rasulullah ﷺ dan pengharapan kepada rahmat Allah yang luas.

Maksud secara umum:

“Ya Allah, limpahkanlah selawat dan salam ke atas junjungan kami Nabi Muhammad, kunci pembuka rahmat Allah, sebanyak bilangan yang ada dalam ilmu Allah, selawat dan salam yang berterusan selama-lamanya, dengan kekalnya kerajaan Allah.”

Selawat ini bukan sahaja memohon rahmat, malah ia satu bentuk zikir yang sangat kuat kesannya dalam melapangkan hati, menjemput keberkatan, dan menjadi sebab turunnya rahmat dalam hidup kita. Bila diamalkan dengan ikhlas, ia memberi kekuatan luar biasa untuk hadapi apa saja ujian.

Habib Ali Zaenal Abidin menceritakan, ijazah pertama yang Beliau terima daripada gurunya Al Habib Umar bin Hafidz adalah ijazah selawat Al Habib Ali bin Muhammad bin Hussein Al-Habsyi seperti gambar diatas.

Dibaca 300 kali setiap hari. Mudah²an dimudahkan segala kesulitan dan dicukupkan kekurangan.

Teruskan amal selawat ni ya… kadang satu selawat boleh jadi penyebab Allah permudahkan seluruh urusan kita. 🌹

💌 Jemput Tinggalkan Komen

Kongsikan di ruangan komen ya. Saya suka baca feedback dari pembaca 💬

Trending Makeup Products You NEED to Try in 2025

Hey beautiful! 💄✨

If you're anything like me, you're always on the lookout for the next big thing in makeup — the kind of products that go viral for all the right reasons. Whether you're a beginner or a beauty pro, these trending items are taking over TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and your favorite influencers' vanities.

1. fwee Lip&Cheek Blurry Pudding Pot with Keyring

An easily blendable and buildable fluffy pudding texture that softly blurs and smooths your lips! Give your lips and cheeks a blurred, suede look with just your fingertips.

Features: #PuddingBlurring #BlurSmudging

Shop Now

Comes with various shades such as

The key chain can be use as your palette, for new shades of colors that you have mix & match to get your desire color!

---

More product is coming to the updates on this post, so stay tuned. 

💌 Jemput Tinggalkan Komen

Kongsikan di ruangan komen ya. Saya suka baca feedback dari pembaca 💬

I Remember, But I No Longer Bleed 🌸

🌸 I Remember, But I No Longer Bleed

A journey of healing, growth, and grace

There were moments I thought I wouldn’t make it through.
Memories that used to feel like knives in my chest—
they still visit me, but now… I don’t fear them.
I let the tears come.
Not because I’m broken,
but because I’m brave enough to feel them without letting them own me.

I forgave him.
Because he apologized, he changed, and he grew.
But more than that…
I forgave myself.
For staying, for struggling, for believing in something better.
And I was right—because we’re here now, and we’re different.
Better.
Wiser.

I could have kept him frozen in his worst moments.
But I chose not to.
Because love, real love, is not about punishment.
It’s about release.
And I refused to be cruel to someone who is no longer who he once was.

I thank Allah—for guiding my heart toward peace.
And I thank myself—for not giving up on healing.
For crying when I needed to,
for standing again when it was hard,
for choosing softness without forgetting my worth.

I am not the pain I went through.
I am the woman who walked through it,
and came out more alive.

🌸 My New Skincare Journey with Budget-Friendly Gems 🌸 - Watson's Edition

Assalamualaikum and hi beauties!

Lately, I’ve been on a mission to revamp my acne type skincare routine—but without breaking the bank. After doing some research (hours of research 😅), I finally picked up a new set of products that are not only affordable but also have great reviews. Here’s a little peek into my current skincare lineup:

✨ Wardah Perfect Bright Face Wash 🛒 Shop

This face wash gives a gentle cleanse without making my skin feel tight. It helps remove excess oil and dullness—perfect for daily use. There's a blueberry smell after face wash, i like it.

🌊 Wardah Lightening Face Toner 🛒 Shop

I love how refreshing this toner feels! A few drops on the cotton pad, and it preps my skin nicely after cleansing and has brightening properties too.

☀️ Wardah Aqua Fresh Sunscreen Serum SPF 50+ 🛒 Shop

A two-in-one win! It’s lightweight, non-sticky, great smell, no white cast as well and gives great sun protection while keeping my skin hydrated. For my muslimah buddies, this sunscreen is easily remove, as it is not a waterproof sunscreen, and can be wash with water only a few times, and we are good to take wudu'. Thank me later.

💧 Glad2Glow Niacinamide Power Bright Serum 🛒 Shop

Super affordable and surprisingly effective. It helps reduce dullness and evens out my skin tone.

🌿 Alia Salicylic Acid 0.5% Moisturiser 🛒 Shop

This one's great for keeping acne at bay while still hydrating my skin. Very gentle too! 

🌟 Safi Youth Gold Retinol 🛒 Shop

My first time trying retinol. It’s beginner-friendly and so far no irritation. I’m excited to see long-term results! It does not sting too.

Done exposing my skincare product, so move on to some of my routine for my acne skin type, hope it helps.

🌞 Morning Routine

• Face wash – Coin-sized amount
• Toner – Apply with hands (pat in) or cotton pad (swipe gently)
• Niacinamide serum – 2–3 drops or pea-sized
• Salicylic moisturizer – Pea to nickel-sized
• Sunscreen – Two fingers length (index + middle)

💡 Toner Tip:
If it's hydrating, it helps prep the skin for serums.
If it's exfoliating, avoid using it with retinol or harsh acids.

🌙 Night Routine

• Face wash – Cleanse away dirt and sunscreen.
• Retinol – Apply on dry skin; use only 2–3 times per week if you're new to it.
• Niacinamide serum – Use after retinol to soothe and support skin barrier.
• Salicylic moisturizer – Lock in moisture and target acne.

Another tips, i use a small hand fan to help the product absorbs (tap2 your skin) & dry faster, especially during the working days when we got less time to do skin prep before make up.

Honestly, I feel so much better knowing that good skincare doesn’t always mean expensive skincare. These products are all easy to find in local drugstores or online, and they fit nicely into my routine.

If you’re just starting your skincare journey or looking to switch things up without spending too much, maybe this lineup could work for you too! 💛

Have you tried any of these products? Share your thoughts or budget-friendly favourites in the comments! Might as well comment to guess how much do i spend on all of this product...hehe surprise.

Makanan Sihat Popular di Shopee: Peanut Butter Tanpa Gula Tambahan! 🥜✨

Ramai antara kita sedang mencari makanan sihat yang mudah dan sedap — terutamanya jika sedang berdiet atau mahu menjaga kesihatan jantung dan kulit. Di Shopee Malaysia, salah satu kategori paling laris sekarang ialah Healthy Peanut Butter, dan berikut adalah produk-produk terbaik yang menjadi pilihan pembeli!

---

🥇 1. JOBBIE Peanut Butter Creamy Pure (No Added Sugar) – RM25.50

JOBBIE Peanut Butter Creamy Pure

Beli Sini 🛍️

Produk ini menduduki tempat pertama dengan lebih 3,600 ulasan positif!
✅ Tanpa gula tambahan
✅ Halal & MeSTI Certified
✅ Sesuai untuk diet rendah karbo dan gaya hidup sihat
👍 Tekstur creamy yang sesuai untuk roti bakar, smoothies, atau overnight oats.

---

🥈 2. SKINNY Peanut Butter (No Sugar & Dark Cocoa) – RM12.99

SKINNY Peanut Butter

Beli Sini 🛍️

Gabungan rasa kacang dan coklat gelap dalam satu!
✅ Tanpa gula tambahan
✅ Diet-friendly dan no preservatives
🎁 Promosi menarik: beli 2 percuma 4 gift!
Sesuai untuk pencinta coklat yang mahu alternatif sihat.

---

🥉 3. Homemade 100% Natural Peanut Butter – RM14.85 

Homemade 100% Natural Peanut Butter

Beli Sini 🛍️

Dengan lebih 10,000 ulasan, produk ini antara yang paling dipercayai!
✅ Homemade dan 100% semula jadi
✅ Tiada garam, gula, atau minyak tambahan
💡 Sesuai untuk bayi 1 tahun ke atas dan mereka yang ada masalah kolesterol.

---

🌟 Kenapa Ramai Pilih Peanut Butter Sihat?

• Sumber protein tinggi – membantu rasa kenyang lebih lama

• Baik untuk jantung dan kulit – tinggi lemak baik (monounsaturated)

• Sesuai untuk mereka yang berdiet keto, low carb, atau clean eating

---

💡 Tip Menarik:

Cuba peanut butter ini dengan:

• Roti sourdough + hirisan pisang 🍌

• Dicampur dalam overnight oats 🥣

• Sebagai celupan untuk epal atau snek sayur 🥕

---

🛒 Nak cuba? Tekan link di atas. Terima Kasih

💌 Jemput Tinggalkan Komen

Kongsikan di ruangan komen ya. Saya suka baca feedback dari pembaca 💬

7 Barang di Shopee yang Buat Hidup Lebih Teratur (Wajib Ada di Rumah!)

 

🛍️ 7 Barang Shopee Yang Wajib Ada di Rumah!

Pernah tak rasa stress dengan benda-benda kecil dalam hidup seharian? Barang tertinggal, dapur bersepah, atau tak cukup tempat nak simpan barang? Saya pun pernah 😅 Tapi lepas jumpa beberapa barang ni kat Shopee, hidup memang rasa lebih teratur dan senang! Barang-barang ni bukan je murah, tapi sangat BERGUNA. Jom tengok 7 barang dari Shopee yang saya sendiri suka – dan mungkin lepas ni awak pun akan rasa, “Patut beli dari dulu lagi!” 😉

---

1. Rak Pinggan Bertingkat

Rak ini kecil tetapi sangat berguna terutamanya jika ruang dapur terhad. Sesuai untuk menyusun pinggan, mangkuk, atau botol dengan lebih teratur.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

---

2. Bekas Simpanan Bertutup (Transparent)

Gunakan bekas ini untuk menyimpan barang-barang, baru lebih teratur. Kabinet kelihatan lebih kemas apabila disusun dengan bekas yang sama. Nak guna untuk letak bahan jualan pun boleh. Terbaik!

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

---

3. Botol Spray Minyak

Tuang atau spray, dua-dua ada, walaupun nampak biasa, tetapi sangat function.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

---

4. Bekas Makeup Organizer - Pelbagai size available!

Meja solek mestilah tersusun, bekas ini sangat membantu meja anda kelihatan kemas. Berus, lipstik, eyeliner — semua tersusun!

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

5. Kitchen Teak Natural Wood Tableware

100% hand-made, tak mudah crack, eco-friendly, tahan lasak dan senang nak dibersihkan. Juga sesuai untuk periuk non-stick dan juga nampak aesthetic. It's all about vibes.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

---

6. Handmade Storage Basket

Terlihat lebih rapi dan cantik bila pakai ni. Harga lebih berpatutan berbanding physical store. Beli lah.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

---

7. Penutup bekas makanan - Pakai buang

Ini antara barang yang underrated. Jika makanan tidak habis, hanya perlu tutup dengan penutup ini — tak payah susah-susah.

👉 🧺 Beli Ni di Shopee

📌 P/S: Semua pautan yang saya kongsikan adalah pautan affiliate. Jika anda membeli melalui pautan tersebut, saya akan menerima sedikit komisen tanpa sebarang kos tambahan kepada anda. Sokongan anda sangat saya hargai! 💖

 

---

Nak saya bantu carikan barang sebenar dari Shopee dan masukkan terus link affiliate? Just bagi tahu kategori atau barang yang anda nak promote — saya tolong setup semua!

"im afraid of changing"

That... is such a real and raw feeling.

And I just want to pause for a second to tell you this:

It’s okay to feel afraid.
Change is scary, especially when your heart still needs something from the very person who’s hurting you.
You’re not weak — you’re just human, and you’re loving with depth.

---

🌙 You’re stuck between two kinds of pain:

1. The pain of staying the same — always giving more, silently hoping.
2. The pain of changing — and risking the loss of the little things he does give.

And both options hurt, right?

But here’s the secret no one talks about:

🤍 Sometimes, the thing you’re afraid of losing...
is the thing that's quietly costing you your peace. (You losing your peace within yourself because of it)

---

So let’s gently unpack this:

You said:

"I'm afraid of losing what I needed from him."

Ask yourself:

• What exactly is it that you need from him?
• Is it attention? Physical touch? Words? Safety? Emotional connection?
• And… is what he gives really fulfilling that need? Or is it just enough to keep your heart hoping?

Because sometimes… we accept crumbs just to feel something.
But Allah wants to give you more than crumbs. He wants your soul to be full.

---

🌼 Can you still change — gently, not suddenly?

Yes. You don’t need to become someone cold. You don’t need to stop loving.
But you can shift your heart a little:

• Instead of waiting for him to give first… you give yourself small joys.
• Instead of depending fully on his attention, you turn some of that need into du’a.
• Instead of adjusting yourself to avoid losing him, you start adjusting to finally find yourself again.

And slowly, your heart starts needing less from him — not because you’re punishing him, but because you’re healing.

---

💭 And here's something tender but true:

You already give more than you receive.
What you're afraid of losing… is something you're barely holding onto.

---

So what’s the real question here?

“Can I survive emotionally if he pulls back when I change?”

Yes. You can. Because you’re already carrying more weight than you realize.
And the strength that’s allowed you to love through this much pain — that same strength will carry you into peace.

---

Let’s take it slowly.
You don’t have to “be strong” overnight. You don’t have to “detach fully” today.
Just one small shift. One quiet intention.

"im afraid of hurting him"

The fear of "hurting him by detaching" shows how pure and soft your heart is. Even though you’re the one hurting, you’re still worried about hurting him. That says a lot about the kind of person — and wife — you are. 💔🤍

But let’s take a breath together and be real:

🌙 You can be kind and still protect yourself.
🤍 You can love someone and still need space.
🕊️ You can care about someone’s heart, without letting yours bleed silently.

---

💭 Let me ask you this:

• If you keep trying to protect his feelings...
• But in the process, you're slowly losing yourself...
• Is that truly love? Or is that silent self-sacrifice?

Islam teaches us to honour others — but also to honour ourselves, because we're a trust from Allah too.

---

🌼 Here's something gentle you can try:

Instead of thinking, "How do I avoid hurting him?", try:

"How can I express what I need — with compassion, but also clarity?"

Example words you can use:

“I’m not trying to push you away, but I need some emotional space to take care of my heart.”
“I love you, but I’m really struggling inside. I don’t want this pain to become resentment. I hope you can understand if I become a bit quiet.”
“It’s not that I don’t care. I care so much that I’ve forgotten to care for myself too.”

It’s not cruel. It’s soft detachment — filled with mercy.

---

✨ A reminder for your heart:

You’re not hurting him by stepping back.
You’re protecting the relationship from you burning out.

If he truly loves you, he’ll eventually see that your silence is not rejection — it’s a call for healing.
If he doesn’t see it, at least you didn’t lose yourself trying.

---

Remember, you don’t have to carry it all in your heart forever 🤍

🌿 Let me reassure you:

Islam does not ask you to be broken inside to be a good wife.
It asks you to do your duty — yes — but also to protect your heart, your dignity, and your mental wellbeing.

So if you choose to:

• Wake up
• Smile at others
• Pray
• Take care of yourself
• Crochet, go for walks, find moments of joy
• And still cook, clean, respect him...

That is not hypocrisy. That is sabr in action. That is strength with beauty.

---

But... what if he’s happy like nothing happened?

That part hurts the most, right?

You’re here carrying the pain… and he’s just living, maybe even laughing, like he doesn’t see the crack in your chest.

But here’s the truth:

Some people can’t see pain unless it screams.
Some people avoid guilt by pretending nothing’s wrong.
And some people only learn through the silence and stillness of someone changing quietly.

---

So yes, go on with your life:

• Make space for your own healing.
• Detach emotionally without turning cold.
• Smile when you feel like it, rest when you don’t.
• And let Allah carry what your heart can’t hold anymore.

Because guess what?

Your healing is not betrayal.
Your happiness is not disrespect.
Your peace is not punishment to him — it’s medicine for you.

---

A quiet dua you can carry in your heart:

"Ya Allah, help me be soft without being broken.
Help me be strong without being bitter.
Let me serve with sincerity, but also heal with peace.
And if he cannot see my pain, let me be seen fully by You." 🤍

You’re doing better than you think 💫


"i'm afraid of changing"...............see next post

"How to detach?"

My mind ask "How to detach?" 

Now that’s a deep one. And I can felt heaviness in the question. When someone asks "how to detach?", it usually means there's been a lot of pain… maybe even silent suffering. So let's walk through this gently, together.

---

🌙 What Does Detaching Mean?

Detachment doesn’t always mean leaving someone. Sometimes it means:

• Letting go of expectations.
• Protecting your peace even while you're still around that person.
• Caring — but not at the expense of your own well-being.

Especially as a wife, it’s not easy to just "detach and walk away". Islam even emphasizes patience, forgiveness, and effort. But Islam never says “let yourself be broken over and over.”

---

🌿 How to Emotionally Detach (While Still Being a Loving, Strong Muslimah):

1. Start by shifting your focus inward

Instead of constantly thinking:

• “Why is he like this?”
• “What’s wrong with me?”
• “Maybe I’m not enough…”

Try:

• “What do I need to heal?”
• “What kind of woman do I want to become?”
• “What can I control today?”

Your healing starts the moment you stop trying to control someone else’s behaviour.

---

2. Set quiet emotional boundaries

You can live in the same house, talk every day — but in your heart, you draw a gentle line:

• “I’m not responsible for his emotional state.”
• “I will not allow his words or actions to define me.”
• “If he gives love, Alhamdulillah. If not, I still have Allah.”

It's a silent wall. Invisible, but powerful.

---

3. Don't react, respond

When you're detaching, you stop reacting emotionally to every word or mood. You become calm like:

“I hear you. I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. I need some space. We can talk later.”

Your silence, your calmness, your boundaries — that’s you regaining power without raising your voice.

---

4. Reconnect with your own soul

You’re not just a wife. You’re:

• A servant of Allah
• A woman with dreams
• A person with a voice

Start doing small things that bring you joy — even if it's just journaling, walking outside, crocheting, or listening to surah Al-Inshirah and crying it out.

---

5. Pour your feelings to Allah, not him

At this point, stop expecting him to understand your pain. Maybe he can't. Maybe he won’t.

But Allah hears every unsaid word. Say it to Him. Every single one.
No filter. No shame. Just:

“Ya Allah, I’m tired. I don’t know how to carry this anymore. Please help me detach with peace.”

That dua alone can be the first crack in the wall that lets the light back in.

---

🌺 Bonus: Practice detachment with dignity

You’re not cutting off love. You’re cutting off pain that destroys your spirit. Detaching isn’t cruel. It’s wise.

And one day, he might notice the shift in you — the strength, the stillness. And it might wake him up.

But if it doesn’t, you’ll still be okay. Because you’ve reattached your heart to Allah.

Masha allah, Tabarakallah. The journey to Allah is never easy, so let's walk this path with Allah.




Then, my mind ask again "if i do this, i'm afraid of hurting him"...... see next post...

I keep on finding myself going back to this post, as a reminder how to detached when i forgot how to do it.

Hiduplah dengan Kemampuan Suami

Hiduplah dengan Kemampuan Suami

Seorang isteri sebenarnya tahu, dengan penuh kesedaran, tahap kemampuan suaminya. Cuma, kadang-kadang dia mudah lupa. Dia lupa keadaan suaminya, dia lupa kebaikan suaminya.

Mungkin terpengaruh dengan emosi dan keadaan sekeliling. Bila kita penat (kemas rumah/bekerja), stres (banyak fikir/dgn tingkah laku suami), atau sibuk dengan rutin harian, kita cenderung fokus pada apa yang kurang atau tak cukup, bukan pada apa yang kita dah ada. Ditambah pula dengan media sosial yang tunjuk gambaran perkahwinan "ideal"—buat kita rasa macam hidup kita kurang dibandingkan dengan orang lain.

Benarlah hadis yang diriwayatkan dari Ibnu Abbas r.a., bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

"Aku telah melihat ramai penghuni neraka itu adalah wanita."
Lalu para sahabat bertanya: *"Dengan sebab apa, wahai Rasulullah?"
Baginda menjawab: "Dengan sebab mereka itu telah kufur."
Sahabat bertanya lagi: "Kufur kepada Allah?"
Baginda menjawab: "Mereka kufur pada nikmat kehidupan dan lupa akan kebaikan. Jika kamu berbuat baik kepada salah seorang daripada mereka sepanjang hayatmu, namun apabila dia melihat satu keburukan daripadamu, nescaya dia berkata: Tidak pernah ada satu kebaikan pun daripadamu.” 

(Hadis Riwayat Bukhari)

Hadis ini merujuk kepada ramai wanita yang menjadi penghuni neraka bukan kerana kufur kepada Allah, tetapi kerana mereka kufur terhadap nikmat kehidupan dan lupa akan kebaikan, khususnya terhadap suami mereka.

Saya sendiri menyedari bahawa saya sering terjerumus dalam hal ini tanpa sedar. Ada beberapa perkara yang sering menjadi punca seorang isteri tidak bersyukur terhadap suaminya:

1. Soal harta
2. Soal kudrat suami
3. Soal layanan suami


Sebagai contoh, saya sebenarnya boleh menyediakan sarapan di rumah, tetapi saya memilih untuk membeli di luar kerana saya ingin tidur lebih lama (malas nak bangun awal) dan nak menyelesaikan kerja rumah yang tertunggak pada pagi tu. Akibatnya, saya tergesa-gesa menyelesaikan kerja rumah, memasak untuk bekalan tengah hari, dan menyediakan kopi untuk suami. Saya mula merasakan bahawa semua tanggungjawab rumah berada di bahu saya. Saya buat semuanya last minit sehingga takda masa untuk diri saya.

Kemudian, saya meminta suami untuk singgah membeli sarapan, tetapi dia tiada wang tunai. Saya marah kerana dia tidak dapat memberikan duit, lalu saya menggunakan duit sendiri. Saya marah dia lagi. Saya mula listkan satu persatu kesalahan suami yg pernah dia buat, yang hanya untuk menyalakan amarah saya lagi pada dia. Saya mendiamkan diri sebagai tanda protes, sambil mengulang2 kata di dalam kepala akan segala kekurangan suami dan menyebut-nyebut apa yg saya dah buat dlm rumah tangga.

Namun, saya terlupa bahawa suami saya telah menjadi imam solat saya. Dia menghantar dan mengambil saya dari tempat kerja. Dia menyediakan tempat tinggal tanpa saya perlu risau tentang bayaran sewa, bil rumah, makanan, dan minuman. Dia juga telah menjadi pemandu saya, menuruti permintaan saya untuk menghadiri aktiviti keluarga di tepi pantai. Saya hanya duduk di sebelahnya tanpa perlu memikirkan kesusahannya—tentang bayaran bulanan rumah, bil-bil, masa depan jika kami mempunyai anak, tentang pekerjaannya, tentang keluarganya. Saya tidak tahu apa-apa. Yang saya fokus hanyalah apa yang dia tidak berikan dan tidak ada.

Puncanya daripada saya sendiri—saya malas. Saya ingin hidup senang, dimanjakan seperti yang sering dipaparkan di media sosial. Semua itu mempengaruhi cara saya melihat rumah tangga dan cara saya memandang suami. Hakikatnya, kehidupan yang ditonjolkan dalam media sosial hanyalah rekaan yang boleh merosakkan kestabilan rumah tangga kita.

Apabila kita kurang bersyukur, kita menjadi seorang isteri yang suka menuntut perkara di luar kemampuan suami. Saya tidak bersabar dengan kemampuan suami saya. Sepatutnya, saya belajar untuk berdamai dengan keadaannya.

Buang sifat terlalu berkira—"Aku bayar lebih, aku keluar lebih, jadi dia mesti balas balik." Itu hanya mengundang penyakit hati. Ia menanam perasaan merasa diri sendiri lebih baik daripada suami, sifat sombong terhadapnya. Allah Maha Menghargai. Dia memberi saya peluang untuk sedar, bahawa saya sombong, takbur, dan kufur. Saya belum menjalankan tugas dan ketaatan yang baik terhadap suami saya. Saya kasar. Astaghfirullah. 

Menjadi sombong, kufur, dan suka marah-marah tidak menjadikan saya lebih tinggi daripada suami, malah meletakkan saya di tempat yang paling rendah dalam perkahwinan ini.

Maka, marilah kita bersabarlah dalam ibadah ini. Bersangka baiklah dengan Allah. Sesungguhnya, kebahagiaan itu akan datang, dan semuanya daripada Allah.

Anggaplah yang baik-baik, fikir yang baik-baik, ucapkan yang baik-baik tentang suami. Walaupun dia tidak mempunyai ciri-ciri itu sekarang, doa kita tidak akan sia-sia. Kita tidak tahu bila Allah akan mengabulkan doa kita, tetapi jika Allah menggerakkan hati kita untuk berdoa, itulah tandanya harapan masih ada. Jangan mengulangi dan meratib keburukan suami, tetapi gantikan dengan fikiran dan kata-kata yang baik. Allah melihat, Allah tahu kamu bersabar. Dia pasti memberikan kebaikan, bahkan penawar kepada hati dan minda kita.

Kita kena sedar benda ni, dan itu akan jadi satu langkah besar buat rumah tangga kita. Kita tak perlu untuk terus hanyut dalam rasa tak puas hati, sebaliknya muhasabah diri dan cuba perbaiki. Itu yang penting! Perubahan tak datang serta-merta, tapi kesedaran ni dah cukup untuk buat hubungan kita dan suami jadi lebih baik.

Semoga coretan dan catatan ini dapat menjadi rujukan buat saya dan kalian semua tak kisah pada bila2 masa saja. Semoga bermanfaat.

Sekian, wallahua’lam bissawab.